Today leads on from last Tuesday’s post about the powe
r of manifesting. What goes on in our ‘inner world’ is projected into our ‘outer world.’ This can swing both ways with positive and negative outcomes. I shared with you last week the positive side of manifesting. This week I will share when things go the opposite way.
Many months ago I had a falling out with a friend, I wrote about it here. There was a huge energy exchange and some very heighten emotions surrounding this event. I ‘thought’ I was handling it, dealing with the pain & loss by focusing on the positive aspects of why the situation happened. Actually I wasn’t.
Every single day the situation came into my mind. I replayed it over & over, I thought of alternative action I should have taken, I scripted conversations and emails I would write. On & on it went. I could not let it go. The worst thing was I didn’t even realise I was so attached. I held onto that energy until it physically manifested into my body.
I had felt a slight neck ache for a few days. Like I’d slept funny on it. One Monday afternoon I was rubbing my shoulders at the end of the working day & I felt a lump. There was a hard knot at the base of my neck on my left hand side just above my clavicle. It’s the bit that is supposed to be hollow it was totally inflamed. I ran to the mirror. Yes there was a lump there & it was pretty solid & very visible. I was worried. It was sore in a muscle sore way it’s not unusual for me to have a tight neck & shoulders so I hoped it was a muscular thing. I called to get a physio appointment.
My usual physio was on leave so I got to see another one who was actually the neck specialist. To cut a long story short the physio freaked me out. I was told it did not feel like a damaged muscle and with some manipulation it was decided I must go straight to my GP to get the area scanned. The mass wasn’t normal & in a very worrying position.
Guess what I did for the rest of the afternoon. Googled the life out of ‘lumps in the neck.’ Worst idea ever!
Luckily I got in with my GP the next day. She was super chilled about it all. I had a full examination of all the major lymph nodes & what not. My doctor thought it felt muscular. Quite amusing as the ‘muscle expert’ said it felt glandular. With no other signs or symptoms of ‘the worse case scenario’ it was decided the only thing to do was to have an ultra sound & biopsy to see what was in there. There was not a lot of urgency around this so I trusted my doctor that if it was in the dangerous zone she’d had referred me straight away.
I couldn’t get in for a scan for over three weeks. Happy that I had consulted a medical professional it was time to get on board with the metaphysical side of things. I conducted a self-healing session with crystals & white light on myself. That is when I realised what had happened – the argument with my friend. It was literally a ‘pain in my neck’ for me. Being on the left side, the female side made sense too. There was so much negative energy stored up inside me it had manifested in a huge lump in my neck. It was exactly 21 days since the fall out the lump appeared. It is said to take 21 days to form or break a habit. I took 21 days to manifest a physical sign I wasn’t letting go. I’d been thinking negative thoughts so I’d attracted them back to me.
I know some people won’t be down with this part but this is my experience & this is what happened. Literally once I woke up to this fact, acknowledged it & stopped freaking thinking about that situation for good the lump started to go down. I did a lot of self healing. I sent distance Reiki back to the situation to help heal my emotions. I wore an amethyst Mala every day that hung over the area.
Over the following week the lump visibly reduced. I had my colleagues poking & prodding my lump from day one. My friend who is a final year medical student was consulted for her opinion. There were plenty of people involved in ‘lump watch’ to help reassure me it was shrinking.
By the time I went for the ultra sound there was no sign of anything ever being there. The doctor was really confused when I presented a perfectly healthy neck to her. She still scanned my entire neck, throat & collarbone area on both sides just in case. Nothing. No tears in the muscles, no sign of anything at all abnormal. Phew. I received no real medical explanation to what ‘actually’ caused it as it came & went by itself. I’m just happy it’s gone & it wasn’t any of the scary things I found on Google.
It was a huge reality check. I’ve realised how important now it is to keep my thoughts clear & in good place of love. It’s too easy to manifest a not so pleasant reality. Now I have seen both positive & negative results of my manifesting I truly believe we do create the situations we are in through our thoughts. We can undo these just as easily as well if we take responsibility for creating it.
From now on I make sure I deal with things when they arise & not carry them around with me. Sure there will be hurts & conflicts that come up from time to time. I just need to learn to let them wash through.
Love K xx