Good morning readers. I hope you are all keeping well in your worlds? We are flying through 2013 aren’t we, it’s July already, how did that happen? I felt like June was a bit of a breather between May’s big energies and now July’s. If you feel like you have been loosing the plot or the people around have been a bit crazy town, don’t worry you are not alone.
The current Mercury Retrograde that commenced on June 26th has been strong. For me it has given me the push I needed to step up to my own responsibilities. No more making excuses or passing blame. If something is not aligned with me any longer to who I am today then I need to deal with it. I did deal with it for sure!
This period in the planetary movements allows us to see the ‘real core’ in people/situations that goes deeper than surface appearances. Relationships have been under great scrutiny. Masks have been removed as people reveal their truth.
Just seven days ago my heart was filled with joy when this happened. An old hurt came back to be healed. The person involved presented herself to me in such a raw, beautiful light I literally melted. The mask she had been hiding behind (one I wasn’t gelling with) was gone. What was left was awesome. I thought ‘this is the person I fell in love with many years ago & I’m thrilled she is back.’ My friend spoke openly on how she has been renovating her life, facing her flaws and she physically glowed telling me what she was doing to get back on track. I listened and gave such huge gratitude that she was able to share this openly. Ahhhh happy sigh.
Let’s move onto the more gritty, dark & turbulent story. I decided to start with the happy one first. Within my life there are things and sadly people who are no longer serving me. I tend to cling to the past too much. Take a wardrobe for example. Who has ratty old singlets or t-shirts they just can’t throw out? You love them because they are safe, comfortable and reliable. They are fine for layering or wearing round the house to do the cleaning in. In fact they are worn out. They are full of holes, stained, stinky, faded and don’t fit well anymore. It’s time to retire them to make room for some new shining ones that will serve you better.
I thought up this analogy to bring some sense to a current situation. Okay it’s a bit weird to compare a friend to a ratty singlet but I am. It’s human nature that people in our lives come and go. We literally grow apart from people. We change, we move, we expand and excel. This is all done at different rates, on different time scales. Some friends can’t keep up with us. We ourselves may fall behind our friends. When this happens we no longer resonate with each other. We literally do not make sense of where each other is coming from. You meet each other with blank stares.
This is okay. It’s okay to not be okay with someone you feel is not a good fit for you anymore. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It will make you a better person for being true to your own Soul. The biggest challenge is too face up to this realization and be responsible for it. That is just what I did.
I’ll try not to get too personal on this subject I’ll keep it brief. I had a friend who no longer lifted me to the dizzy heights she used to, sad but true. We had been growing apart for a while and I didn’t want to face the fact so carried on as usual hoping we were just going through a ‘rough patch.’ Finally I needed to face facts. With the help from the universe I decided to speak my truth from the purest intent as I thought it might help us through this rough patch. Let’s say it didn’t get the reaction I had intended. The rough patch was the stepping-stone to a full on break up.
We are not responsible for other people’s reactions to our actions. What ever gets thrown back at us ‘is what it is.’ The reaction is what that person needed to do. The words we gave to get that reaction are ours to own even if they are not welcomed. Yes your words may cause a person to feel anger, hurt and betrayal. Those feelings are theirs, they created them inside of their own being. You didn’t.
I would never intentionally hurt some one. I got a shock with the reaction I received, as I mentioned earlier I spoke with pure intentions. I ended up hurting myself more with my reaction to their reaction. I retracted my truth and tried to apologise for what I’d said because I am a compassionate person. The self doubt came in & I started questioning my intent (head reaction). Then I stopped. I should not have to apologise for who I am & speaking my truth. I should have stood by my words, owned them 100%. All the doubt I felt then vanished.
Now I’m living a fully integrated life of head & heart connection daily what comes through for me is no longer ego lead. It’s hard for others to understand this. That is okay. As long as I know my intention is pure & stand by it all is well.
I realise now I needed this situation to happen, it was meant to, I got the right reaction. It was time to say goodbye. My Soul guided words had more meaning than my human brain could process. My Soul wanted me to face the fact I could no longer have this person in my life. It was hard. I went through the entire range of post break up emotions that were entirely my responsibility. Looking back this isn’t the first time this has happened to me, it won’t be the last either. But I am at peace with that.
Time for the happy ending! Now I am no longer wasting time and energy on relationships that no longer serve me I can see what relationships I need to be focusing on. Slowing myself down and having a good look around I have actually made some new friends recently. Friends who I have attracted by being the person I am right now. Therefore they are fully aligned with who I am today. I give great thanks for this and gratitude for the above situation for making room for the right people to enter my life. I can’t put new clothes in my wardrobe if its jam packed full of old outdated items can I? I’m learning life is about quality not quantity so I won’t be in a rush to fill my spaces too quickly.
My personal Mantra: “Own what I say & the doubt will go away.”
Love Seren xx