This post has nothing to do with brooding teenagers and their undead pointy-toothed ‘vegetarian’ lovers. No blood will be sucked either, just energy!
I started using the term “Energy Vampire” after it came into my awareness that some people I know literally suck the life out of me. Bleed me dry of energy. They leave me feeling exhausted, depleted and hung over even though no alcohol had been consumed. I’d wake up the morning after feeling like I’d been run over by a truck. Ever had that feeling after a meet up with certain friends? I’m sure we all have them in our circle.
Please don’t get me wrong I use the term Energy Vampire with the kindest of endearment. My energy hungry friends are lovely that is why they are my friends. It is natural for me to attract people who need rescuing. I like rescuing people and looking after them. Get them out of the holes there’re in and back on track. It’s part of who I am. I’m here to help, to heal & to give. I am happy too but now on my terms.
On my current path of cleaner living I’ve found my intuition has been enhanced, my non-physical senses are sharper and my light is brighter. Before I became aware of this amazing knock on effect I’d created I’d get sucked into other people’s chaos and in turn come away just as depleted as them. My Energy Vampires always have something wrong with them, you might have a cold but this friend has flu, a sore throat and pneumonia! Get the idea? There’s always a drama going on bigger & better than anyone else’s. That’s cool, that’s life. They need to down load, get advise and reassurance that everything will be ok. They want to talk, a lot, without coming up for air or letting anyone else have a breath. My mistake used to be I’d give them that reassurance & support by personalizing. That’s how my energy was lost.
We’ve all done it. If someone is telling a story and looking for some advice the easiest thing to do is say ‘yes me too, that happened to me!’ Instantly you feel like you’re supporting them as you’ve been through the same thing. You feel you can give honest advice because you have felt their pain yourself. There it is. The moment you personalize you do feel their pain, you take it right off them and into you. That’s why you feel so hungover the next day as you are now carrying that friends pain yourself.
Energy transfers happen that easily. As soon as you say ‘me too’ an invisible cord (an etheric cord) with a big fat fishing hook on the end shoots out of your friend and attaches right inside of you. Hooks in. Just like an electric cable this cord allows your friend to suck your precious energy from you, filling up their tank with you kind, loving and happy energy. It’s a two way street of course, when we give we also receive. In this situation the giver gets a bum deal as you receive back their pain and misery. These cords stay attached too, they can tap in at anytime even when you’re not together, especially when they are thinking about you and vise versa.
How do you stop these cords from getting attached & your energy sucked? Simple. Listen and do not personlise. You can give a lot of support without even saying a word by listening. If they ask you ‘what do you think?’ turn it back around to them, ‘what do you think you should do?’ Get them to try and figure it out for themselves. Yes they have come to you for advice the best advice you can give is to get them to figure it out for themselves. They will feel so liberated knowing they had the power to sort themselves out rather than just be told what to do by you. We are all different anyway, what you might work for you might not work some someone else. We all have this power of knowing inside of us we just need to access it & trust it. It’s so easy to be influenced by other people’s thoughts and actions. This is not being authentic to our true selves.
Really start to notice how you feel when you stop personalizing. Do you feel lighter? Less oppressed? It takes practice; it is hard I fall off the wagon too from time to time. The words ‘me too’ fly out too very at times. It doesn’t have to. If you are listening, being still within yourself it becomes easy to stay neutral. No cords will attach, no social hangovers will occur. If you feel a cord has attached, cut it. Imagine a big pair of scissors and snip it away. Send it into the universe to be taken care of.
Give it a go this week. You will be a much stronger, supportive friend and keep hold of your precious energy. Lead from your heart and send out loving, supporting thoughts to your friends and everyone will reap the rewards.
Love & light,